I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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