Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
