All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
