Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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