Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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