I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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