Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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