I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
