There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
