I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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