i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
