You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
