Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
