Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
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