i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
false alarm, still single
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