do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
