i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
