hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
