I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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