atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
