Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
