a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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