If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
