There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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