Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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