Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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