No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Drake has all the answers
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
