Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
