just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
