I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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