i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
