so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
