The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
