I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
