I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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