I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize