Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
