Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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