An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
