I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize