haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
