last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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