Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
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When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
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You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize