If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
