When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
