Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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