it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
