i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Watching her eat just hurts me
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
did you just send me my own nude
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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