smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
These tits shall not be calmed
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
