he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
