Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
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So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
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there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize