Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
