he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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