College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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