i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
