i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
