school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
