Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
