You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
