i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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