do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
