just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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