I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
soo... how was my night?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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