holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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