You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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