i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
